Dear Jane by Marina DelVecchio

Author:Marina DelVecchio [DelVecchio, Marina]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Black Rose Writing
Published: 2019-01-10T07:00:00+00:00

Yours, Kit Kat

“Such is the sole conjugal embrace I am ever to know –

such are the endearments which are to solace my leisure hours.”

JANE EYRE

Dear Jane,

I have always been intrigued by the idea that of all the different kinds of women out there who could have adopted me, it was Ann who plucked me off the decaying limbs of my family tree. Ann, who was virginal and untouched herself. Ann, who lived alone, without a man’s protection or love. Resembling the nuns of my childhood, she, too, is unsexed, unmoved by love and desire; her life is barren of both, and yet this gives her power over herself and others. Quite the opposite of my birth mother, Ann seems to be exactly what I need after the corruption I came from.

My adoptive mother is her own master. She doesn’t date. Linda, Farida’s mother dates, and on television, divorced men and women seem to date. But my mother never brings men over or goes on dates with them. The three men – other than plumbers – who come into our house are Uncle Mike, her second cousin, Nick, his son, and John, her friend Helen’s husband. They come with their wives, and they pay me a dollar to hear me play the violin on Thanksgiving or Christmas Day. Outside of that, no man enters our apartment.

It’s like living in a nunnery, a woman’s home. Despite her cold ways, I find this a blessing that I need. She provides me with a model of womanhood, unlike anything I have known, an antidote to the toxic sexual deviance that highlighted my upbringing. In my new mother, I find a new kind of woman I could emulate without feeling shame, and in many ways, I am still trying to fit into her skin – as unsuccessfully as I attempted to fit into the skin of the daughter she wants me to be.

She is both man and woman to me – father and mother – and I don’t feel the absence of a father. Sometimes I wish there was another adult living with us. Someone who would put her in check when she is cold to me or ignores my existence, but other than this, I welcome the fact that men do not exist in our lives.

I find it interesting that your life is also without men. You grew up in a house full of women, with the exception of your cousin John, who is vile and childish; and even when you are ejected from Gateshead Hall and sent to the charity school for girls, you are surrounded by fellow orphans and teachers – all female – specifically after Mr. Brocklehurst – the one male hypocrite associated with the school – has his power over the teachers and girls confiscated after the typhoid illness that spreads and kills many of the girls at the Lowood School because of his greed. Miss Temple takes over, and female teachers and students are governed by her gentle wisdom.

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